Real Healthwives Dirt....

Jamie's side of the story

Let’s be clear...Allie and I did not start off on the right...or left foot for that matter. I met Allie after Alex and I were engaged. She was stuck with me from the beginning and the same went for me. The day I met Allie’s husband and Alex’s twin, Jordan, he ran up to me screaming how excited he was to have a new sister. I literally remember him darting up to me, squeezing me tightly, and all I could do was let a quick breath out after all the chaos!

What a great way to meet Alex’s twin! Jordan is enthusiastic, hilarious, and a devoted father. As we went into the backyard, I met all of Alex’s relatives (there are so many!!) and….*dun dun dunnnn* Allie. Going into this party, I didn’t really have any expectations for the relationship Allie and I were to have as sister-in-law’s. Little did I know, it would take us about a year and half to work through the confusion and bumps in our relationship.

    From our initial meet and greet, it was obvious that Allie was down-to-earth, sweet, and a loving mom. I was an energetic, friendly, and sarcastic (in the nicest way possible- haha-)  woman of the working world and many of my friends weren't married or had children. Therefore, being around a woman who was already married with three babies was a completely new perspective for me. The first conversation I had with Allie was about when Alex and I were going to start a family. All of our conversations seemed to be about children from that point on because Allie and I struggled to find a common ground of interests. I didn't understand her at all!

    I discussed the issues I was having with Allie to my husband. Alex explained how he views Allie as his own sister, and I needed to take control of the situation to become friends with her.  For starters, I did not like being told what to do nor did I appreciate how quick Alex was to defend a woman I barely knew! Putting all that aside, I wrote Allie an email after Easter in 2013. In the email, I let Allie know that I wanted a friendship with her, and I was hoping we could work on that for the sake of our families.  Allie agreed, and we had a somewhat cordial relationship after that. (Just to be clear, Allie and I never fought physically or verbally. Our silence was enough to feel the tension between us.)

Allie and I were both pregnant the summer of 2013. We texted randomly to check in, but still, we lacked a true friendship. After our boys were born this fall/winter (2013), Allie and I broke through our barriers somehow! Perhaps my new role as a mother allowed me to understand Allie and want to learn from her lessons as a mother of four. As I got to know Allie better, I also grew closer to her as a friend. Now, we text throughout the entire day and call each other at least every other day. I could not imagine my life without this wonderful friend, sister-in-law, and confidant. Somehow, I have a best friend in the person I never expected to even care for from the beginning!

Moral of our story… I learned to place less judgement on others and simply focus more on my own personal improvements (from fitness, nutrition, friendships, family, and so on). Thus, The Real Healthwives is meant to help all of us dig deep within themselves to love and succeed in life! We hope you enjoy this journey as mothers, sisters, wives, friends, and people with us!

                                          

PS. Special shout out to our baby boy, Nick, who turns FOUR months old tomorrow!! Ahh!! xoxo

Allie's side of the story....

Never in a million years did I expect Jamie and I to be co-writing a blog together. Never ever did I expect us to be texting daily, as real friends, not the fake crap. 

We definitely had a rocky start. I really can't even pinpoint what was the first tipping point for us. We just did not click. You would think that since we fell in love with the same looking man we would have a lot in common. Our husbands not only look alike but act exact so it’s obvious Jamie and I have similar taste. But man, something was just off with Jamie and I. 

We didn't really get a chance to start a relationship because we were never together. The only time we saw each other was family events, and family events are anything but intimate in this large family. And to be honest I did not look forward to family events because of the awkwardness. We had no relationship but I think we both wanted to get along and couldn't really understand why we weren't getting along so we both let the assumptions start flying. Obviously I was always second guessing, “Why doesn't she like me?”, “What did I ever do?”, “This makes no sense”. There was just an awkwardness. An awkwardness because we didn't have a foundation. We had nothing to grow from and add to. We were married to twins who are best friends, how are we not getting along?!? It was insanely frustrating. Add to that frustration that we were both pregnant and hormonal around the same time. Jamie on her first babe and I on my fourth. Pregnant sister in laws. OYE!

We honestly just both kind of took a step back during pregnancy and just made small talk when we were together. I did not want to be that obnoxious know it all sister in law so I kept to myself and tried to only offer advice ONLY when asked. I was honestly terrified that this would end badly, I was nervous about Jamie and I never getting along and our kids (who would be a month apart) never seeing each other because Jamie and I couldn't get over ourselves. It really sounds worse than what I was imagining but I was just treading lightly with Jamie. I did not want to over step any boundaries. When Nicholas came into the world, we finally had something to connect over, motherhood. Slowly but surely through our babies recent births we have confided in each other over the sleepless nights, the leaky boobs and the craziness of it all. 

Jamie was there through a very rough post partum patch for me(story on that hellish journey to come next week) and I really would be lost without her. We got to see each other through very trying times when our true colors were finally showing. It is just a complete whirlwind and change, but I am so grateful.We have found that we are much more in common than we ever wanted to believe. I feel like such an ass for the past year assuming that I knew her because I had no idea. I had no idea about anything because we did not take the time to get to know each other in the first place. We let our assumptions run wild and make the decisions for us. 

There is one upside to us not getting along for the past year, we are both brutally honest about everything. We are well aware of our past assumptions and I think that makes us even better friends, there is no room for BS. It’s a pretty fabulous relationship, if I do say so myself! I am so excited for the future having an amazing sister in law and partner in crime. PS Our little men are already best buds. 4 LIFE.

Moral of the story: Try not to judge, I know it's so hard but sometimes you don't know the whole story and can miss out on a great friend! 

Have you ever had a similar relationship? Or every judged someone before getting to know them??